We are deeply loved, and all will be well. Sometimes God shows up when we least expect it, and in places we’ve been told God would never show Her face. I felt a deep comfort, as I allowed myself to rest in God’s love, to receive healing, restorative touch. Despite all the dramatic changes in my life, all the choices I’ve made over the last five years, I still long for the embrace of Jesus. I felt God saying “Of course you’re my friend, Matthew. This is still the deep desire of my heart. But as Jose went to work on my sore muscles, I started to reflect on the lyrics and I got a little choked up. Kelly Carpenter’s “Draw Me Close” was playing in Puerto Vallarta’s premiere gay spa.Īt first I thought it was funny… a strange anomaly of music licensing. Friends, I heard a classic Vineyard worship song. We were in the locker room before the massage and there was instrumental piano music playing. So I went, feeling a little awkward, but determined to receive this good gift from this wonderful man and to try to allow myself to feel loved by the good God who gave me my body and calls it “good.” (As always, I am grateful for the profound music of The Many.) And my body is always achy and tense, and massage is a good way for me to try to love myself, to receive healthy touch and to relax. But I love Alejandro’s heart, and I deeply appreciated this gesture. So the thought of getting naked, even in a spa setting, gives me BIG anxiety. I lived for years with crippling shame about my sexuality, and even now my body is one of my deepest insecurities. I’m a gay man who can appreciate attractive men, but I’m also almost 50 years old, and I have a complicated relationship with my body. Paradise for a gay man, right? Well, yes and no. It’s in Zona Romantica, the gay district, it’s for men only, and it is staffed entirely by attractive young gay men.
God met me in a gay spa in Puerto Vallarta last week.Īlejandro’s Valentine’s Day gift to me was two hours (deep tissue massage and Vichy body scrub) in one of Puerto Vallarta’s best spas. Massage, Vichy Shower Body Scrubs, Hamam Style Turkish Baths, Facials, Botox.